Taking a Break indefinitely

To everyone who has and is supporting me and reading my blog, I really thank you.

I've been in a long dark tunnel for quite a while and I finally see the light at the end of it. Yeah, as I've mentioned I've been depressed. A few of you have given me suggestions as to why and have tried to help me, which I really appreciate. It's probably a combination of things, physical, age related, vitamin deficiencies, but a lot of it is emotional for me.

These last few days the core of my problem finally pushed it's way through my consciousness and I've had to face what's really bugging me.

My sister, whom I totally love more than anything and who reads my blog sweetheart that she is, helped me out yesterday by putting it all out there in front of me. No sugar coating. It was a shock, and yet I've known all along, deep down, what the issue has been and what I've needed to do.

But you know how you have a dream or fantasy and it's so nice and it takes you away from a "normal" uneventful life, but it's not real and it's ultimately hurting you? You know how you just don't want to look at it straight in the face and you find a thousand and one excuses and ways to avoid it by claiming all kinds of other non problems?

Well, my sister helped me do that yesterday and it was very painful for me to look at and acknowledge. But it was time. And it's been rather an emotional day for me letting go of something that I've been holding onto for the last year. It's kind of like leaving a lover and a long story being over. That's how I feel and I'm in mourning.



more animals


See how seriously I really take myself. Gotta have a sense of humor sometimes.

Anyway, also part of what's been going on is that I've been feeling the strain of keeping my blog going. This is a separate issue than what I just mentioned, but it's also been adding to my depression.

I've been pushing myself to keep up and keep reading and reviewing, partly because I really enjoy it, but also because I feel that if I don't, I will fall far behind of what's going on.

What's so ironic in all of that, reading romance and being part of this world, is that I stopped doing a lot of the things that I enjoy with my husband. Mainly cuddling up with him every night and watching TV together. It was always our way to have some intimacy without stress and to connect in a quiet way.

I've totally stopped that since doing this blog, constantly pushing myself to keep reading or writing reviews or coming up with topics to talk about or communicating with fellow bloggers and supporting them.

The last few days I've just been taking care of me, my emotional state and physical health and haven't read a damn thing and I love it! I just can't be bothered to read anything right now. I want to hang with DH and watch TV, take care of things and get off my ass and do stuff that I need to do.

So, I've decided I'm just going to do as I really please and not push or worry about any of this. I don't know if and when I will blog or review at the moment. The reason I'm saying a lot of this is so that you don't take it personally if I don't comment on your blogs and such.

A huge change is coming for me and I'm going to go with it. So thanks to you all for supporting me and trying to help.